SURRENDERED

Don´t touch, please don´t...please, stop...not now, don´t touch me...please don´t.

Goddammit! I was muttering that in my sleep? Well, at least that´s what Edith said.

She started talking to me a little bit more than the last few days but she proceeded with care. Actually we had a long introspective conversation just this morning. She wanted to make sure that I was taking damn good care of myself so she handed me a bowl of oatmeal, something I haven´t had in a long time.

"Now, this is isn´t the stuff that usually comes in those tiny packs, this is the real thing...well actually I improved it so you tell me if it´s any good."

"It´s...it´s great, actually I think everything´s coming back to me now, " I said.

"You were talking in your sleep, did you have a rough night?"

"I don´t feel like talking about it, nothing big really." I continued.

"I see...well, I´m sure things will pick up."

"On the other hand I would gladly appreciate listening to anything else, thank you very much..."

"Oh!" she cried as she sat down with me. "I thought you´d never ask. Well, I´ve had some very interesting patients lately, unlike other times. There´s this young girl, she´s in her twenties she claims she´s terribly depressed, not the kind you get when your boyfriend dumps you depression, she´s hard to figure out. Quite frankly I don´t why but no matter how badly I want to get away from this I was born to help people."

"Actually, " I said, "I kinda wanted to ask you, am I that hard to figure out? Answer me one question and be totally honest..."

"Sure, go right ahead..."

"If you saw me walking down on the street could you tell that I´m gay?"

Edith froze for a while, of course at this point anyone would, "That´s a very random comment even for you, but if you must insist..."

"Then..."

"Of course not! Why would you say something like that?"

"Nothing, just forget it."

"Whoa, excuse me but it´s hard to get over something like that, so if you don´t tell me I´m going to bug you all day."

I gave a deep sigh, "Fine, I didn´t want to bring it up, but, yeah, last night started more or less good but then it turned out to be one hell of a disaster. I felt used, but then again it´s always been that way."

"OK, this sounds a little bit more serious than I expected."

"It´s because of the way they perceive me. You must remember I ran into Stefan last year, do you?"

"Uh, yes, you saw him again?"

"Yes I saw him again because he works with my other incredibly famous friend. Anyway, I know it sounds ridiculous telling this to you but...how can I ever control that if I´m convinced I prefer a million times to be around you?"

Edith frowned, "Look, I don´t want to mess with your sexuality but I would treat this as a normal situation in which someone else is hitting on you whether it´s a man or a woman."

"Would you freak out on me if it were a woman?"

"Absolutely! As long as you tell me this being completely honest I´m OK with that. Thus, I definitely would walk away from you if you cheated on me because that´s so not you."

"Alright, alright, I don´t wanna heat things up, just asking for advice. Once again, this is really great."

"I´m gonna stay with you every morning because I want to make sure you finish it. I do want you to overcome this, for good."

"I promise, I mean, I´ll do it, for myself."

"Thank you, sweetie..." she kissed me deeply, "Now get out there and conquer the world for me."

I laughed uncontrollably. I had no choice but to surrender to her every sweet word.

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