COMPLACENCY. (continued).

And the darkness flooded the living room. I went in there to find Edith for her messages carried a huge buildup of what she desperately wanted to tell me. The suspense was killing me, literally killing me.

My afternoon felt so uneasy that I pondered the idea that everything would soon be over after being tagged as a sort of monster from the underworld who did nothing to prey on the innocent and drink their youth away like some pricey wine. Oh, but Edith wasn´t just any ordinary wine; her sole presence infused me and fulfilled me. Her eyes, her thin lips that seemed drawn with a fine paintbrush and a heavenly body that made me feel just like a child. Then it was when I realized that if I grew too attached to her she would become protective and dominant and eventually control me...yes, she did have a dark side, a terrible, castrating dark side like the tarantula she dreamed about once.

"Please don´t hate me, Adrian," she began, " I really don´t want to be the villain here, but I did some thinking, God! very heavy thinking and I...I admit I was sort of selfish because I wanted you all to myself like any girl would...but then I was also suffocating you and not letting you be harboring and contaminating you with this insecurity that I´ve been nesting all these years."

"Can I say something?" I asked. "Why would you think I use people to get where I want? That´s exactly what I´m supposed to do, you know, meet people who know people, that´s all."

"Adrian! I am aware of that, " she interrupted, "I´m sorry if I labeled you as some kind of sleazy manipulator, I guess I misjudged you."

"Wait, misjudge? It sounds like you barely know me," I said somewhat upset.

"You can never stop knowing someone, and especially someone like you."

"So can we pretend this never actually happened?"

"Um, no, but...I have learned from you."

"I thought it was the other way around..."

"No, I mean you've taught me how to live, while I have made you see the darkest corners of your mind, so you could at least do me a great big favor in putting a little bit of more effort into, you know, certain habits."

"OK, I get it. So does that mean that this feud is over."

"Mmm, no, not quite. You see, you have to do something for me first."

Oh, now what?

"Listen, you always told me that art is so incredibly sincere that is easily communicates what you're most afraid of without saying a word. Well, I want you to draw your biggest fears."

"I'm sorry, didn't I make it clear with the last pieces I showed you?" She began to creep me out.

"Fine, you don't wanna do it then I'll make you to go to a specialist and believe me it's no going to be pretty..."
She grasped my hands and looked directly into my eyes; "You can do it, you can beat that demon of yours that´s keeping us apart..." She kissed me gently and embraced me so tightly but there was something different about it, so motherly...and yet at the same time how much she needed me.

COMPLACENCY. (continued).

I got a text message from my cell this morning which belonged to Edith...funny way of communicating now through gadgets, this results so cold and impersonal , I suppose she´s giving me a hard time until I come around.

It said; "I have something important to tell you, I´ll see you at night. "

Just like that, no more no less. I´m tired of these stupid mind games she pulls on me but that´s what you get for hanging out with a smart girl who loves to toy with the human psyche. How perfect because she claims to have discovered how I deal with my relationships...saying I´m a psychic vampire, that I suck the energy out of people just because I´m too weak to live with my own self. Ironically this keeps attracting others...I surround myself in sadness all the time to ignite the compassion in others. Today was like that; Damien offered me a few of his life lessons and now it was Janie´s turn.

She was staying with some friends until it was time to go back to Tokyo. A few hours later I received an invitation from her which sort of seemed like a date but I wouldn´t go that far, unless she was aware that I wasn´t in a relationship. Oh snap, I just realized I updated my online status to It´s Complicated. No wonder I have been getting comments all day.

She insisted she wasn´t trying to take advantage of the situation; after all, I had to complete a piece for an exhibit names Nendo No Usagi or Year Of The Rabbit, so I heard.

Janie convinced me to go to Chinatown; haven´t been there in a while and I felt sort of nostalgic, besides I couldn´t think on an empty stomach.

And speaking of gut feelings, she did have something rather important to tell me. I first explained about my current situation on the love department because I was lifting too much controversy. She looked as charming as ever; short, golden brown hair, gorgeous uplifting smile and wide eyed, especially when she looked at me.

"Green tea?" she asked.

"Yes, thank you."

"What a wacky night that was back at your house, huh?" she giggled. "So how have you been? I noticed your status changed, was that intentional?"

"Pro-ba-bly," I said. "Are you familiar with the term psychic vampire?" I asked.

"Hmm, no, not really, but it sure sounds like something taken from a zombie movie!"

"That´s what Edith called me. It´s stands for someone who cannot tolerate living with his own shadow thus he hunts other people´s personality and uses them for his own benefit until they are sucked dry. Then when the time comes he dumps them and goes out with someone else."

"Huh, huh!" she cried like a child. "That´s waaaaay out! But it sounds more like someone who just hangs out with the popular kids at school because he´s too afraid of not getting noticed."

"Yeah, I understand. Maybe she came to that conclusion because every time I am in a new relationship and I take everything from them, even little things like the music they listen to. Then it´s like when I´m alone I have no identity."

"Oh, that reminds me of that book, Perfume, remember?"

"The killer with a strong sense of smell, yeah, sure, what about him?"

She continued, "You see, in the last chapters after he decides to travel to Grasse he notices he didn´t have a scent of his own, like he was an empty, soulless creature, that´s why the nuns were afraid of him."

"Mmmm, yeah, so, am I a soulless creature like a demon or something?"

"No, silly boy," she patted me on the head."

"What if I said I´m the White Rabbit? Would that help?"

"Then you will suffer his same fate, which is that you will lead others through dream worlds and blur the lines between what´s real and what´s not in order to find some kind of spiritual growth."

"You sure know a lot of things for someone your age, how come?"

She giggled again, "My grandfather grew up in a Shinto temple, he used to teach me things like that all time when I went to visit for the summer. Which brings me to the reason why I actually brought you here in the first place."

She paused and had a sort of worried look; " Listen, I know you´re one of the very few persons who I can share this with. I´ve been having some very strange dreams lately..."

"Dreams are strange, unless they are different from what you usually see, what are they?"

"I don´t know, it´s a lot like getting up in the morning and watching the news. All I saw was a small village being eaten up by the sea. Children and mothers crying for the loss of their houses. It keeps waking me up in the middle of the night."

"Do you think something bad will happen?" I asked politely as I continued sipping some the green tea she gave me.

"Well, having visions is not normal for me, but then again everybody has them. It´s just probably the anxiety for going back home, that´s all."

"I´ll remember that. I never forget."

"That´s so sweet, Adrian-chan! I won´t forget you too! Best friends?"

"To be honest I never had a best friend before; Edith´s the closest thing I ever had..."

"Then you´ll have to define what she means to you..."

"I already have my hands full with these new projects and all, but I promise I will try."

"Don´t promise anything, pretty boy , just do it."

Wow, her words truly caused an effect on me, even stronger than any other drug.

 (continued)...

COMPLACENCY.

It has happened to me more than once than when I'm most down and out an unexpected visitor comes along and tells me exactly what I need to hear, not what I wanna hear, at least that was what Demian made me realize. He arrived a tad early as as usual hooked to his MP3 like a leech; he also happened to be a big Droogie fan by the way thus it became easier to befriend and to control.

He was 21 and a sophomore from my own college and had high hopes to become like me someday...or something like that. Every other he came to my studio to make errands and minor things I don´t do anymore such as preparing and priming canvases, that earned some credits. Also I understood he was very chatty and indiscreet.

"You know what? I think she's just obsessed with you..."

"Thank you very much but isn't everybody else?" I said.

"Of course, but I mean it's just that because she wants to have you but she knows she can't...hence the name White Rabbit; everybody wants to follow you yet they can never catch you..."

"That's not what I want."

"Oh, come on! You wanna go steady with her or what?"

I grew puzzled. "What makes you think I´m not?"

"A live-in girlfriend is not going steady, at least not in my book. Technically she´s not a wife but she behaves like one, but you don´t believe in that crap, right?"

"Not yet, so what if I never marry?"

"Well,  that´s your problem but she seems to be like the type of girl who wants to..."

That last commentary seemed more than obvious, and I did have a conversation with her about that last year. I remained silent while I was doing some measurements on a piece of cotton fabric.

"I guess that´s the big difference; I can´t help being popular, I wasn´t even this popular in high school. That girl is a total mystery sometimes. Look at me, I´m pretending not to care about this and now you got me taking ´bout her again."

"Oh, sorry, dude, you did seem down today and now that I know why I´ll skip the subject..."

"Yeah, I would love that," I continued.

"So is true you have painted with blood? I was just asking..."

"Yeah, but it was just an experiment, The Rabbit Of The Infinite Strength has it. I accidentally cut my hand with a small knife so I just drew around it. The blood turns sort of maroon eventually hardens because it´s exposed the oxygen so I came with a quick sealant and some lacquer. It was on the eyes, by the way. Anyway since the effect it gives is similar to watercolor I finished the rest of the body with it with the same brushes and there you go. Some random girls owns it now."

"Could you that technique more often?" asked Damien with glowing eyes.

I smirked, "Nah, I couldn´t do that, I´m already too controversial if I did that they´d think I self-mutilate every now and then."

"Have you? You can tell me..."

"No! I don´t need any more goddamn rumors, the next thing you know I would probably be attracting serial killers S&M lovers, perverts, who knows..."

"R-ight."

"But there´s still something about them that attracts people anyway, it´s like the secret recipe, and that my friend I will take to the grave."

"Boy, you sure feel comfortable talking about creepy stuff, you´re not into black magic?"

I laughed and felt much better, "In fact I´ll do it if you don´t stop talking! That´s what happened to the last guy who wouldn´t cooperate with me; I turned him into a rabbit and is named Scraps."

I made him laugh too, "S-sure..."

"I´m just fucking with you, come on, I wanna show you something I´ve been working on..."

(continued)...