AENIMA

Indiscreetly one of Fly's collaborators took a series of sexy pictures of me to use in the art book...Ok, they were planned. Sometimes I can't help it because I always put my work on top of everything else, besides love of course. It reminds of that band, Tool; when I saw how artistic alternative music could become I thought someone out there besides me actually gave a shit.

I had a brief season where I did some modeling about eleven years ago, among my many talents. At the time I was still in college down in Greenwich Village and at lived in Brooklyn and was about eighteen; god, I was so naïve back then. What started as an innocent joke in Body Drawing class turned into a very juicy offer.

You see, Kitty, another schoolmate had arrived about half an hour early to class because she had trouble finishing an assignment. She was so cute, now that I think of it she seemed like a less hotter version of Janie Wu, except she was a bit taller, always dressed the same way in very droopy colors and looked rather scrawny. So then she told me, "Damn, I can´t get it right!" And I looked down at what she was doing and asked, "Uh, what exactly is it that you can´t get right?"

"The arms of course. I know guys have bulky arms but mine looked super deformed; do you know any of this?" said Kitty. I turned around and acted like I didn´t give a damn. "Uh, no, sorry, I´m really not that good either?" And then she begged me to help her because she knew well that I was sketched very fast with no difficulty. "Well...let´s say I COULD help you doll, however it would be a whole lot better if you drew it directly from a model, hey, maybe you COULD use me!"

"Oh, really, you´d do that?" she said as her eyes glowed with excitement. "Oh, but no, that wouldn´t seem right, would it?"

"Whaddaya mean it ain´t right? Look..." So then I slowly stripped and revealed my guns; I liked to work out since then to climb walls and be able to trespass to do some awesome graffiti, never mind.

"Oh, but stand still! I´m almost done...oh damn...would it be too much of a favor and help me out with the legs because they´re out of proportion."

By that moment I felt used but since there was no one around... "You got to be kidding me, girl, I´ll help you draw them..."

"Yeah, but then how am I supposed to learn?" she said a bit frustrated shrugging her arms. She placed her HB drawing pencil on the side of the sketchbook and acted like she was waiting for something. "I´m not gonna bite, this is supposed to be professional, remember?"

I didn´t trust her that much, so instead I attempted to persuade her, "And doesn´t this work for you, just like that?" I pointed at my pants, which were kinda baggy.

"Nope, " she replied. "OK, nevermind, I think I got it now. Thanks Adrian, you´re so cool."

"Mmmk, sure whatever, anything for my public." I knew what she was after; pulling reverse psychology on me, so I gave her what she wanted, but very unexpectedly...she flipped out.

"You idiot! What did you that for? I´ll show you..." She threw her sketchbook at me and as I attempted to dodge it she took my pants. The problem was that the rest of the class arrived and I was practically half naked. A German girl was amused and asked if I was going to be the model for this next lesson because I was standing right in the middle of the platform. So I went with the flow to ease up the embarrassment and transform into exhibitionism and cried, "Yes! Come and get me ladies!" The guys, specially James supported me and said, "Hell yeah, alright!"

The aftermath was rather bitter sweet. Word got out about my little incident and next thing you know I was at the dean´s office. After lecturing me about being a deadbeat troublemaker and such talked in private to me and made an offer that I literally couldn´t refuse. He tapped his fingers against his neatly polished desk and said to me, "So, you like to show off more than the usual, right?"

I leaned back and answered, "Well sir, I can´t deny that; it´s a natural thing; it´s just that some of us are a bit shy."

"Fine, fine. I´ll let you go this time, however..."

Oh damn, I didn´t like the sound of that. So then he proposed to me that I went to Ms. Glenwood because she was requiring some male models for class. Of course, not everyone met the standards, they had to be very very specific. So then I did it, plus I would get extra credit for that.

It wasn´t quite as I thought because I had to behave like a human statue and the posing was very important too. I did for about a whole semester, but when the winter season kicked in I almost quite because I had to go nude, seriously. But then we resolved it peacefully with the proper heating.

But that´s not the end of it. Mrs. Glenwood suggested that I did it professionally, I mean with pay and everything. And that was the best decision that I ever made back then. By the way, that reminded me a self portrait I did at the time named Black Cherry; it was supposed to be a big "Thank You" note for all the support, but in my own obscene way. Ah, memories...

I didn´t exactly dream anything today, however I did wake up at around 2:36 AM as if this is starting to become some sort of ritual to get out of bed for no goddamn reason. I gently tapped Edith on the shoulder and asked her, "Hey, um, did you hear something?"

NO, ADRIAN...WHAT DID YOU HEAR VOICES OR SOMETHING?

"I believe so...I heard a voice, like a child who whispered softly, "Hello"...

JUST THAT?

"Yeah, is that bad?"

"It depends..." she mumbled, "It must be a side effect of those sleeping pills I recommended you, or..."

"What?"

"You were getting in touch with your anima, your unconscious mind."

"Or maybe it was the girl from the factory, remember, like a ghost?" Edith turned and approached me, "Wasn´t that supposed to be me, according to you?"

"I don´t know anymore. It´s more rather like a girl who keeps showing me things."

"Whatever, you wanna go after ghosts, go ahead and catch them...now go back to sleep, it ain´t that hard."

Sleeping wasn´t hard; figuring whether I was alone or not in my oniric experiences, now that was a challenge. Like I said to Mikester the other day, I have the impression someone is eavesdropping in my dreams, and I was pretty sure they weren´t any ghosts...