INTO THE HOLE

Blurry, everything looked blurry now...idle time never tasted so sweet and even more with the weather that slowly became more hideous. It's no wonder why I wanted to jump; ever since I got hooked up in this business my life has been one big circus performance after another. Up to now I haven't weighed my talent, I never had the need; why should I doubt at this very same moment of my life , but like James said, "there's something about me but I still can't put freaking finger on it."

Ava, the Tarot Lady said I was the Star, not the literal star but what lies behind it.

"You are in a very good moment of your life dear; see this is the time where you begin to flourish and unravel your true self. Intuition and creativity are essential for your everyday work and now they will increase…”

This is the moment where I said, "I wanna get off this ride."

But as I recall a quote from Life Lessons with Nick Nolte:

"It's art. You give it up, you were never an artist in the first place."

And that's exactly where this wicked dilemma began. At the same moment, with impecable timing came the tune of Right Where It Belongs by Nine Inch Nails. I was always a die-hard fan; the only thing that fueled the darkest corners of my psyche.

What if everything around you

Isn't quite as it seems?

What if all the world you used to know

Is an elaborate dream?

And if you look at your reflection

Is it all you want it to be?

What if you could look right through the cracks

Would you find yourself

Find yourself afraid to see?

Mr. Sun, Mr. Golden Goddamn Sun, were where you when I needed you the most? This may be the last time I see you until the freaking snow kicks in. A soft tone cut the silence like a knife. Someone was at the door, I recognized that voice...

HEY, SWEET THING, WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN? DID YOU MISS ME?

Hey, Maus, how´s it going?

"You don´t sound so hot right now, that´s bad luck." Feivel looked as usual, this time some very wide D&G´s like he had a monstrous hangover, so did I.

"Aw, don´t come to me talking to me about curses..." We came upstairs to the big studio to check the pieces for my one man show. He looked at Ritual and he instantly fell in love with it.

THIS IS POWERFUL; THIS IS INDEED POWERFUL. I CAN´T POINT OUT WHAT IT IS ABOUT IT, BUT ITS SPEAKS FOR ITSELF. YOU DID IT AGAIN.

I just stared at him like an idiot as I clutched my mug of coffee. And this was only the beginning.