Trickster

It´s strange how you should begin a tale with an ending. I say every ending is followed up by a new beginning.
My ending consisted of a breakup. When Daniel left I was consumed. If there ever was a name for this part of my life I´d name it.
VULNERABLE.
Like a rabbit except I wasn´t free in the wild forest that was called New York; it was an old rusty cage down the streets of Manhattan.
- Rusty Cage
It was my workplace where I felt secure; a big ass loft  that I´ve been sharing for a while with a variety of strange folk; most of them were men. September arrived, so did the deadlines and I was halfway through a new collection of acrylics for a solo exhibition in some fancy, cutting edge gallery in Chelsea.

That week I was supposed to be receiving someone else to move in and my strongest bet was a girl named Edith Paige who was in her freshman year in NYU.
It was Wednesday and it had been drizzling. I headed down to the corner of Prince and Mercer Street around five in the afternoon  She was standing there with her arms thrown on her back with a very optimistic look.
If I was to compare Edith to anybody she´d be like the storybook Alice except she was raven haired.
I lived above one of those psychic shops which was owned by a lady named Ava who is very solicited.
We continued to make small talk in the elevator; I could noticed she was frittering and somewhat avoiding me.
"I´m Adrian Black by the way; sorry if I keep going online by odd usernames. What should I call you?"
"Edie is fine."
"Strange; like Edie Sedgwick."
"Yeah except I´m not that beautiful and rich like he was."
"Oh, don´t be that disencouraged; everyone here looks like a rockstar. I´m simply white trash from Ohio who got lucky."
"Maybe my luck will change as well."
"Why this place is just around the corner for you, isn´t it?" I said.
"Oh, absolutely! But how did you manage to snatch this loft just like this?"
"It was no walk in the park, I´ll tell you that. You have to be some kind of artist. The former owner was Edward King. There was an urban legend that he used to lurk the campus at 3 AM because he went sleepless ."
"Well, that´s intriguing!" she cried. "I haven´t heard of that story."
"I wanted to be here so badly because I prefer to have a piece of history around me instead of something brand new. And because I´m a sucker for nostalgia."
"How come?"
"Because all objects including these buildings leave an invisible trace behind. Say like burned toast."
"Now you´re quoting Mr. Hallorann in "The Shining"! she cried.
"Are you some kind of film geek?"
"No but I have a very keen memory."
"And I'm an artist, it's not that unusual to have some scars in my life to inspire me. Actually I wondered if that was my fate; to have a tormented existence watching everyone around me being hurt or let me hurt them back.”
“God no,” she said swinging her hand in mid air, “you’re too young to be carrying too much grief, what are you, twenty something...”
“I’ll be thirty next january.”
“Oh, that’s bad, that’s way too bad,” she said cynically. “In a number of societies and subcultures being over twenty means that you’re practically washed up.”
“I’m not old!” I replied, “I’m just experienced. How about you?"
"Was that a trick question?" she snapped. "Well; I came all the way down from Michigan to major in Psychology.  I want to fix people´s minds, that´s all."
"You could never finish your work in a city like this! We´re all mad here. I´m mad, you´re mad."
"How can I be mad?" she asked.
"You must be; otherwise you shouldn´t have come here."
"Wait that sounds familiar; Alice In Wonderland, right?"
"Yeah, you got me. As a kid I used to quote it all the time; it applies to a lot of things in this crazy world."
"What other things?"
"Success in life. It takes all the running you can do, to keep in the same place. If you want to get somewhere else, you must run at least twice as fast as that! I´m always ahead of my competitors."
"You have competitors?"
"All artists are like that. Secretly we want to devour each other. The rest of the time we´re poking each others´ egos. Only a small number are your actual friends."
"Right. I´m not so much into that because I´m a real down to earth person."
"Stick with me and I´ll show you some of my work and tell me what you think."
"Are you any good?"
"I´m a badass. I always get what I want."


Away from all the high end shops and decadent flair of Soho was my private fifty five hundred square foot lair which was a literal flashback to the nineties. My comrades lived in a large set of vinyls and CD´s which were most of the time old Johnny Cash and Nine Inch Nails.
"There are two levels and a terrace up here. It´s like a freaking mansion with ghosts and all."
"Why are you saying that?" she laughed, "are you trying to scare me out of here?"
"No; I´m dead serious. There´s something bad here. No one believes it, of course but it´s an amusing story. Just like the one right here."
The entrance or foyer consisted of a large brick wall decorated with a copy of a painting I entitled "Home." The theme was a giant hole with a mixed media technique mostly acrylic and in the style of abstract expressionism.
"I have no idea what it means but the use of color is incredible. So you say this is a copy, where´s the original one?"
"It was sold to some art collector in London. I was lucky that she appreciated my earliest work."
"How is it that I know so little about your work?"
"You really need to get out more. Come; I´ll show you the way to kitchen because I could really use a drink. What´s your poison?"
"Oh, no thanks, really."
"I insist but don´t worry I don´t bite. My teeth might too worn our anyway."
"You have a big imagination, Adrian."
"Yeah, among other things."


Edie was a swell tenant. She asked me why would I could choose for a girl who has nothing to do with the art world to live here. It was simply because she wouldn´t be such a huge distraction. Later on I would refer to her as my "non-artistic follower" with my colleagues in reference to the insane regulations of Soho living.
Her constant need to question and analyze everything served me well. Little by little I confessed her about my ill-fated relationship. She was eager to know because there were moments where I failed to express any emotions; I stood by the large windows in my studio.
The day the world went away
"Is everything alright?" she said one afternoon. "Or is it the rain that´s making you all melancholy?"
"Sorry, I didn´t notice you were here. What time is it?"
"Around six thirty. You don´t like to keep track of time, huh?"
"I used to but then I became very obsessive and I didn´t like who I was back then. I felt like a goddamn slave."
"I´m sorry, did I make you feel uncomfortable? I was going to make myself some tea; do you want to join me?"
"Now that´s something I can never refuse."

I wish I was actually doing portraits because Edie never looked so wonderful that afternoon; her little blue navy halter dress that went well with her sapphire like eyes. At least I could take a picture for the impression to last longer. It wasn´t a hint of attraction but she was mesmerizing.
"Still she haunts me, phantomwise,
Alice moving under skies
Never seen by waking eyes."


"I feel unapologetic with you," I said.
"How come?"
"I haven´t told you about my previous tenant."
"That´s ok; you don´t have to tell me everything."
"You do it all the time; from the moment you´re out in the street till you come back."
"Would this confession be something I´m not supposed to hear?"
"No but you may have seen the majority of my online pictures with a certain Daniel Hyde."
"Oh, yeah; the model, what about him?"
"He´s my ex."
"I knew that! That´s not such a big mystery. Here, this is red tea."
"Red; my favorite color besides black. You don´t the whole story, do you?"
"I´m not into gossip or prying into people´s lives, Adrian."
"Please do! It will help your career, I promise."
"Alright so what happened between you to?"
"Well," I said as I proceeded to take a sip of tea, "This is rather good,by the way. He´s the main reason why I was all lethargic just a few moments ago."
She said laughing, "So why didn´t you say so in the first place?"
"I´m a gentleman despite my deviate lifestyle. I feel so timid around you that I don´t want to scare you so much. Anyway, Daniel came into to live here like all the rest but he´s still impossible to forget."
"My, this doesn´t sound like small talk anymore..."
We took our conversation elsewhere to the living room exactly where I had my huge black leather couch; that´s where I crashed most of the time when I was fully exhausted.
"He had the hots for me since day one. I didn´t care at all because I´m fully concentrated in my paintings. There is an unwritten rule here that whenever I requested for a new exhibition no one and I said no one can ever disturb me."
"Just like now?"
"Sort of. I must work under very specific conditions in the style of Edward K. There are hours where I am severly productive like at eleven or three in the morning. Sometimes I stay up all night and sleep in the daytime. Even my agent knows; it´s effective."
"I have noticed that."
"It takes a while to get used to. Danny didn´t fully understand this so at the beginning he begged me to go to sleep. As soon as he entered my studio which is cluttered all the time not messy he even began to act in an unsual way."
"Define unusual."
"In this case being lustful was unusual for me. He wasn´t like that before. You would have said he was waiting for the right moment to strike me.
So I was in there doing my thing when suddenly he grabbed my waist but his hands were incredibly cold."
"And then?"
"I felt powerless. I tried to set myself free but he kept going. He pulled down my pants and just did what he wanted."
She paused for a moment raising an eyebrow, "And you didn´t put any resistance, did you?"
"I honestly did! Like I said I was so concentrated, possessed even. I was thinking that maybe it would all clear up the next day but it got worse."
"In which sense?"
"He wanted control; it was something I couldn´t give him no matter what. We had an agreement."
"Why didn´t you just throw him out?"
Then it was me who paused.
"Daniel was so great in bed; that´s what."
"Well, I think that pretty much wraps it up. This is completely irrelevant to me!"
"Don´t be mad. I had a very hard time swallowing it."
"Really? How?"
"Actually I might be depressed right now but I can´t notice it because I have too much stuff on my head."
"Adrian, I´m not mad but I think you´re playing the victim here when you knew damn well what he was up to. I see no reason to weep for that bastard."
"I´m still going with the theory that there´s something bad here. You know, I´m glad you came along."