"The Thousand, " said Caroline with arms wide open. "Only will they truly understand because they are prepared to listen, they will help us change the world like never before. They are thinkers, artists, singers, poets, dancers and many more who every night live in the same playground, do you remember Ritual?"

"What about that painting?"

"When she saw it for the first time, even though she´s not an artist like you, was still moved and remembered a friend from a long time ago...it couldn´t have happened if it wasn´t for the Archetype."

"The rabbit, you mean? What does it do, tell me, what does it do? Is it dangerous? Tell me now!" I asked her desperately.

"Why, a rabbit would never hurt anybody. Think, Adrian, think. He´s a trickster, prince with a thousand enemies, he may change shape and size, but he knows no boundaries...he could live forever in a canvas, he´s already inside you..." then she picked at my left side, where I had my tattoo.

"And then what?"

"We all are the Rabbit! Together we can walk through dreams and visions! The paintings are the gateway, like when Alice had the Looking Glass. You don´t believe me? Fine. But this I will tell you...all of your dreams will come true in the order in which you had them. You already saw me..."

Suddenly we weren´t in my studio anymore. Instead, we were in a large dining room where I was on one end of the table and Caroline on the other. A glass of red wine was neatly placed for me, yet I couldn´t really tell what kind it was probably Cabernet Sauvignon; not bad.

"Why are we here?"

"FEED ME, Adrian."

"What is THAT supposed to mean, I don´t have anything on me except for this wine right here and I don´t really think it´s appropiate for a little girl like you unless you were some kind of vampire..are you?"

"This might be a dream, so I don´t need food but I still need to be fed. You did it for the boy in black, so I know you can do it for me."

"Oh...so it´s not the literal meaning, then, I see. So then what if I told you a story before you go to sleep?"

She placed her elbows over the table feeling pleased, "Alright then, what´s it about?"

I couldn´t believe I was doing this.

"There was a boy,

a very strange enchanted boy,

they say he wandered very far, very far,

over land and sea..."

"The greatest thing you´ll ever learn is just to love and be loved in return..." continued Caroline. "I know that song."

"You do?"

"It was very new when it came out, but it was said a very wise man wrote it. He renamed himself "eden abhez" and said that the words God and Infinity deserved to be capitalized."

"How do you know all that for a little girl?"

"Because he was born in Brooklyn, of course! Besides, he was a Nature Boy or Naturmensch. I fancied the infinity symbol and decided to give it to the rabbit, isn´t that right, sweetie?"


She stretched her mouth wide open like the jaws of a lion. And to my surprise a black rabbit jumped out of it, the same one I had been painting, the same one she drew on the walls and now it jumped and ran towards me very swiftly as it looked at me with its fiery red eyes....and then it entered me. I can´t remember what happened next.


I was in the kitchen passed out with my wine glass half empty.


"So there you are! You decided to just drink your troubles away instead of telling me what´s wrong with you now, " said Edith.


I rushed to her and hugged her tightly, "Thank God...it was a dream."


"Right, just another dream. You feel very, very..."


"What?"


"I don´t know, but somehow I find you soft and warm, and your eyes...you can come upstairs now."


Was it my dirty imagination or did she just find me more attractive tonight? Damn, I hope I never bump into that dead girl ever again.

HELL´S HUNDRED ACRES (continued):

"You came back, I´m quite sure you´ll have a story to tell." said Caroline.

She certainly looked different now; for some strange goddamn reason she was of rabbit ears on, but that would be the least of my worries.

"Well, um, yes, little missy. I have one thing to say...are you familiar with the name Hell´s Hundred Acres?

Caroline fainted yet she landed on her knees. She immediately covered her face weeping heavily. I approached her to see if she could calm down, yet she said,

"I wasn´t supposed to die that day..." she answered with a very deep voice. "I came to save my mother..."

"OK, did you listen to what I just said?" I asked again.

"I´m familiar with that, Adrian, thank you. This used to be a very nasty neighborhood, yet we had no better choice. We moved from Jersey, right after Daddy passed away. Yet, I had a bad feeling about this place from the beginning."

"a BAD feeling? Like a premonition?"

"YES! Now that I remember I used to have them ALL the time. Mommy wouldn´t believe me and thought I was just being lazy or stubborn, but I knew about the fire that day...you see, I had a vision where everything went up in flames, just like you see now. The sky was red and you could see it from miles away, a huge puff of smoke..." She threw herself on the floor covered with ashes, "but it was no use, you don´t know what it´s like when you know something before anyone else sees it and there´s nothing you can do about it...have you ever had that feeling?"

I answered politely, "no, but I´ve seen some very crazy things this fall, all of which I wrote down..."

"THAT´S EVIDENCE! I never had that opportunity, but you do now! You have noticed what you call coincidences, right? You think of something and then somebody else does it..."

I was amazed for a while, "Yes, it´s true. It´s like I have this connection with people, well, not all of them just the ones that I think are very creative..."

"Like me and that singer girl...it´s no surprise..." She took my hand and took me to one a corner of the room. There, to my surprise I saw things that I had seen, and drawn before...a black rabbit with the infinity symbol on its back. I was breathless.

"Why does it looks so similar to my style? If it is, I didn´t paint that."

"NO, I did it. Remember one night when Edith was not around and you woke up at exactly 3:15 AM?"

"How do you know that?"

"Nevermind that...you drew something...this." Then she showed me the same picture of the funny looking man in the middle of a forest.

"I suppose you have an explanation for that?"

"These are the Thousand, people like us, like you and me who are truly gifted. The rabbit, you see, is one of our many faces..."

This was getting too weird, even for me, so I interrupted her. "OK, kid this might sound like a very nice story and all but I just don´t get what you´re trying to say, you´re dead and you´re not coming back."

"Then if I´m dead then how come I can do this?"

I felt a stabbing pain in my chest, like a butcher knife passing through me...suddenly Caroline ran and hugged me very tightly, "Oh...I´m sorry, I´m so sorry, I didn´t mean to do that, it just happens when I feel threatened , can you please forgive me? please, PLEASE."

"Alright, you seem very strong, ow...but, what do you want from me?"

"The Thousand, don´t you remember, the story you loved when you were little?"

"What? You really believe all of that? Of course you do, you´re just a kid, anyway," I said as I walked across the room and kicked some papers that seemed from that specific time. I picked up one of them and said, "Duncan Soap Factory, 1953. Now hiring. Nobody does it like Duncan...weird."

"Sometimes I feel exactly like that little rabbit, a seer. I was there with you, every step of the way, the paintings..."

"What about my paintings?"

"There´s something in each and every one of them that will attract the Thousand..."

"There´s that word again, why do you call them that way? Oh, yeah, the book, right. So you mean to tell me that the paintings have, like messages of some sort?"

"YES!  Only some people will truly understand them and they will come to you."

"Listen, you didn´t HAD to do that, this is serious business, not child´s play."

"Deep down, you´re still a child too! I know you refuse to leave this place, but it´s because you have to fight for what you want! Didn´t you work very hard to get here?"

"That´s already decided and I´m not staying just because some dead girl said so, do you realize how insane that sounds?"

"Then take me with you, or else..."

"Or else what?"

"YOU know..." I think she was referring to the unusual power she had to hurt me, "Oh, that? You can´t kill me, you wouldn´t."

"NO! I wasn´t talking about that. If you leave me here all alone, then I could probably hurt others, probably your loved ones..."

"You wouldn´t..."

"I KNOW! I don´t really want to, but sometimes I can´t stop."

"Wait a minute, why do I get the feeling you caused the fire, I knew it was an accident, a simple accident which causes an explosion, maybe you did it on purpose to get out of this place when it was a wasteland, huh?"

This kid was clearly out of her mind and the worst part she was starting to piss me off really bad.

"So what if I did? What are you gonna do about it?"

"You´re dead, you can´t do any harm, ever again!"

"Oh, not me, but you sure could if you´re not careful enough..."

(continued):

HELL´S HUNDRED ACRES (continued):

"We´re not alone in here, did you know that?" I said to Edith.

She looked sort of lost for a moment, but then she smiled thinking it was another one of my many wild dreams. I decided we should talk after building up some suspense over lunch, for it seemed that even in my silence the fear of a child was present.

"OK, so why do you say that?" she said as she took me by the arms.

I took a deep breath and hoped for the best because this good be a long, long night. "I, um, need to be serious for a moment. You know how I´ve been sharing with you for the past two months all these crazy shit and so far you´ve been a doll and all of that..."

"Yeah..." She looked at me with her mouth wide open and listening to every single word I was spitting out.

"But I believe there´s a strong reason why I´ve been acting like this...and I can assure you it has very little do with psychological issues."

"Well, you know I didn´t have all the answers, honey, why do you say that now, don´t you think it´s a little ridiculous?"

"Alright..." I stopped and sipped some wine. "Do you remember you told me that this place used to be a factory of some sort?"

"Yes...oh, don´t tell me you´ve been investigating it because I can tell by the way you´re looking at me...is it bad?"

"Uh, no, it´s nothing bad, really, but..."

"So why do you sound so serious, tell me."

I threw my hands over my face. "Don´t...I can sense there´s something unusual in this room, something, like supernatural, like from another time, like someone was trying to call me, like..."

"A ghost?"

"And what if I told you I did see one last night while you were asleep?"

Edith didn´t say a word after that; she just approached me and tapped my shoulder, "Fine..."

"That´s it? That´s your explanation, FINE?"

She kissed me, yet her touch seemed rather distant, like she wasn´t there at all, I felt like I was losing the battle, "Listen, I got some stuff to do as well. When you come to your senses you can come upstairs."

The studio began to feel abnormally cold and I became very agitated and nervous. As Edith slowly left I fell on my knees feeling like a helpless animal. I noticed how hardwood floor felt incredibly hot; it was burning, but at the same time I didn´t get hurt at all. Suddenly I turned my head and my studio was gone. It was filled with debris and broken machinery like conveyor belts. The tall windows were all smoked and rusty and there was a pungent smell of oil. I realized the sun was still up, I could even feel a slight breeze coming from the outside.

HI AGAIN...

I turned around and knew who it was. Caroline had come back.

HELL´S HUNDRED ACRES

I left Edith a note on the counter by the kitchen; this I wrote,

Hey beautiful, see you in the afternoon, still settling some things at the place in Chelsea. A.B.

Monday again, damn, December 22nd already. Time flies and I feel like I´ve done so little. We were still working to enable the Chelsea loft, looking good , so far. By mid January it would be fully functional, oh yeah. But what I was probably dying to tell Edith was about my encounter last night; it seemed very much like putting the pieces of a puzzle together. Caroline had been ´stuck´in that building for ages.

I did a little research using my "modern machines" and this caught my attention, "Hell´s Hundred Acres", a vulgar term they used in the past for this neighborhood for the constant fire accidents caused in the factories, especially the one I lived in. Because this particular one was sturdy enough the damages to the property were minimal, but many people perished in a fire back in the 1950s, which leads me to believe that was one of the main reasons why ghosts would be around here. Still, solving this was not gonna be easy, it would be homework, I suppose.

On the other hand, tomorrow I still had to do some packing for my journey home, so I spent most of my morning making sure both of my lofts were properly taken care of while we were away. The landlord, Ben was a swell guy, actually he was the one who gave me the helpful information about the history of these buildings.

Oh, but tomorrow would indeed be a night to remember because it was Droogie´s big pre Christmas bash. All of a sudden I was supposed to feel more important, I even had fans from the underworld. For sure I never expected to have received so much when I got this place in good old Mercer Street, I guess you could call it a present from above.

(continued...)

CHAPTER 5: INTO THE HELLHOLE

Bloody Hell! Caroline kept trying and trying to talk to me all this time...how was I supposed to know what she wanted? Well, who could blame her, after all, she had no clue how she got there in the first place. Would I be so incredibly generous as to perform a Christmas miracle and reunite a dead girl with her mother?

C.K.

It was way past midnight inside my studio. I had never seen Edith so relaxed, however I kept waking up for no reason and knew it was gonna be awfully hard to go back to sleep. Damn , this place was like being inside an iceberg, I could even see my own breath. Ah, screw it, I had to go down to get my pills.

HELLO, HELLO, ARE YOU THERE?

That voice didn´t come from Edith, for sure...it sounded more like the one of a child. I continued to walk across the room and I could hear the floor crack just enough to get the chills. It was amazingly dark as going through a tunnel and lost the notion on which end of the room was which. So I continued to find the source of that voice...

HELLO, ADRIAN, THERE YOU ARE!

A young blonde girl, like about ten years old approached me. I could only see her face illuminated like a firefly. She had a very old dress on, short sleeve and blue, but very washed down.

"How did you get in here?" I asked as I walked around her.

I´VE ALWAYS BEEN HERE. IN FACT, I TRIED TO CONTACT YOU A FEW MONTHS AGO.

"What do you mean trying to contact me?"

I´M CAROLINE KING...C.K., REMEMBER?

The vision I told Edith the other night? No way, no way...

She ran towards me and embraced me as she broke in tears. "I´m so sorry...I...I didn´t mean to cause you any trouble."

"It´s OK, it´s OK, but, what are you talking about?"

"I feel awful for making you sick, you could have died that day..."

"Whoa, wait , are you saying the the time when I got pneumonia, why do you say it´s your fault?"

BECAUSE, CAN´T YOU TELL IT´S VERY, VERY COLD IN HERE WHEN I´M AROUND?

"That was you? Uh, so, you´re like a ghost, spirit, specter or ..."

I DON´T KNOW. I DON´T REMEMBER HOW DID I GET HERE IN THE FIRST PLACE. But you seem like a very, very nice person and they told me you could help me.

This wasn´t your usual conversation as you could tell. So I sat down and threw my hands over my face trying to figure out what this kid was trying to say. "WHO said I could help you?"

Caroline pointed out to the sky. "Listen, I know you love this place so much as I do and I know that you´re leaving soon, but...you can´t leave until you help me."

Oh, great, a divine duty. "It´s not so hard, really. You have to tell me how I died. This wasn´t always a house, I can feel it used to be something else, like..."

I completed her sentence, "a factory?"

YES, YES!...

I hushed, "you´ll wake her up."

SHE CAN´T HEAR US WHILE YOU´RE INSIDE HERE...

"Alright. Edith said this used to be a small factory, I recall. What else do you want me to find out?"

OH, I KNOW YOU CAN DO IT BECAUSE YOU HAVE VERY MODERN MACHINES NOW...

"And that´s it?..."

YES, BUT ARE YOU FEELING BETTER NOW, YOU´RE NOT SICK ANYMORE?

"No, I´m A OK, kid. By any chance, do you know what the 11 means?"

Caroline looked up so I joined her. She asked me to follow her. "It´s the hour that´s marked on that clock in the wall." I didn´t recall having putting that in my studio, in fact I hardly had one in here, but let´s remember I stepped into another dimension.

"11:11 AM, that´s last thing I saw the day I died. It´s up to you to find out what happened next...."

SWEETIE?

"What..." I mumbled.

WERE YOU TALKING IN YOUR SLEEP?

"Edith? Um, yes. I think I had a nightmare..."

WELL, RELAX. YOU´LL TELL ME ALL ABOUT IT IN THE MORNING...

She had her arms around me like a big teddy bear. Somehow I made it back to the studio but my mind was awfully confused...where did I go and how did I get there?

A BLUE DOG

As we walked downstairs to my studio on that cold December night, Edith grew concerned at my new creation, which was half done.

I stood patient waiting for her to ask me about it.

"Well, what do you think of it?"

"It´s, I think it looks like a dog, a blue dog by the way, " she said.

"Yes, apparently," I brilliantly answered. "But, I need you to tell the meaning behind it."

Edith paused for a moment and laughed cynically. "You are asking ME for an interpretation? I don´t so these sort of things, that´s up to a critic."

"But you do analyze dreams..." I continued feeling wise. "This is a representation of one."

Edith crossed her arms and looked serious, it made her look cuter by the way.

"This is more complex than the other dreams you have talked to me about. Dogs most of the time stand for strong intuition, because they are good sniffers, get it? Blue is the mood, like a spiritual one for example. If you put it all together it might mean that your sixth sense is getting stronger I suppose."

"Not bad."

"But, wait a minute, why are you painting this?"

"Because it´s evidence," I said in a very low, mysterious voice. "The dog arrived at a very exclusive party, I might add."

"As in your upcoming exclusive party with that extravagant girl?". Obviously she was referring to Droogie.

"Yeah, that´s it!"

"Alright, but you better behave, " she said as she got closer to me, "however , women have stronger intuition, it´s a gift, not an accident.Only I know which buttons to push." She began to kiss me on the neck, uh oh...

"Say, um, why don´t we continue this nice conversation in a more suitable place?" I said wrapping her arms around me.

"This IS a suitable place! This is where the magic happens!"

"Damn, woman, you are an fire tonight; it must be the Moon."

"Blame it on the Moon if you want, but..., you feel sort of tense, am I right or am I right?"

"I´m not so sure about that missy, why don´t we have fun figuring it out?"

THE GIRL WITH THE SPIRAL HEART TATTOO

I wasn´t possessed but I felt the urge to go outside and look at the Full Moon. It has been already about two months since I came out here thinking I was losing my mind over nothing. No wait, it was something, a huge ass of a deal. I never saw myself as an average person working exhaustively from nine to five. Still, at that time I was up to my ears in work that I felt I was about to explode and wanted to jump.

When you become a workaholic you realize that it becomes your relationship, therefore you stop paying attention to the ones you love. I was behaving that way and almost ruined it all with Edith even though we´ve been living together for a few years. If it weren´t for the fact that we have so much in common...but you may probably know how that phrase ends anyway.

You know what´s weird? I keep saying that I´m not God and I don´t wanna be but then again they keep flooding me with comments in my blog, as if I was going to give a straight answer someday. Besides that, pictures about my new tattoo leaked somehow and now they love me more. Actually, some fans want to sympathize and share their ink with the rest of the world.

There was this one girl, more or less my age who owned a spiral heart tattoo located on the back of her left shoulder. I immediately remembered that day they came to interview for the magazine and wonder if there´s any actual connection. I think I´ll probably ask her why did she get it in the first place but I don´t wanna get too involved or Edith will be getting pretty darn suspicious. A man´s laptop is a world of mysteries that must never be explored by women; there are sharks in there with very sharp teeth, and lots of nudie pics, why not? Nah, just kidding.

"Is everything alright?" said Edith as she came outside. "That´s a gorgeous moon, it´s so chasmic, don´t you think?"

"Yes, it is. It´s one of those rare gifts people stop and look at."

"That´s because they take it for granted, but in other hand it reminds me of something else..." she whispered to me.

"And what´s that?" I asked in a very naïve way.

"Don´t ever take our relationship for granted..."

RABBIT IN THE HOUSE

As a mere curiosity I stumbled upon this 50s movie while I was downtown called Harvey with James Stewart. It made me think of a few memorable quotes:

"I took a course in art last winter. I learnt the difference between a fine oil painting, and a mechanical thing, like a photograph. The photograph shows only the reality. The painting shows not only the reality, but the dream behind it. It's our dreams, doctor, that carry us on. They separate us from the beasts. I wouldn't want to go on living if I thought it was all just eating, and sleeping, and taking my clothes off..."

Something like that. So I napped on my favorite spot in the living room; it must have been around 5 o´clock and as soon as I woke up I recall having seen in my dream a similar movie about a guy in a pretty cheap rabbit suit and started chasing everyone around the house, even his eyes looked fiery red. But the weird thing was that I saw my own mother by my side. She looked like she was slightly sick, with a cold. She remembered having seen this before and exclaimed,


"Oh, that´s what I used to watch when I was recovering."


And then I keep hearing voices that say "hello" to me, only this time it said it twice. "Hello, hello". Somehow I felt an incredible urge to consult Ava but I heard she was away to visit her family for the rest of the year. So was I. Next week I´d have to leave for Elyria and at the same time leave some works in progress; I never rest, that´s why I miss sleeping for more hours. I snuggled back in the couch and felt that Edith threw a blanket over me.


"There you are! Are you cold?" she asked timidly.


"I might be, I´m feeling slightly chilly..."


"You´re not getting sick again, are you?"


"Nah, but haven´t you noticed a strange breeze lately?"


"Not that I´m aware of. Perhaps it would help if you moved around to mitigate the cold?"


"Nah..." I said again.


"Did you like going back to your own school?" she asked about our outing in the afternoon.


"Oh yeah, it was incredible that they rescued this collection of old Matisse drawings. It gave me a lot to think about."


"Mmm, yeah, but do you think that place has changed a lot since you graduated?"


"Sure, sure...everyone loved me, I suppose..." I don´t remember what happened next, I was out cold, or yes I heard one last thing,


"I love you...don´t work too hard." she said.


"OK, I love you too..." By the way, you´re always supposed to say that; if you say thank you girls will get mad at you. It happened to LOTS of times.

ITCHY BITCHY SPIDER

Ok, so now it was Edith´s turn to tell me her wild stories. After she finished her school business she was ready to enjoy the rest the winter holiday. Apparently they approved her thesis which was great in a way and she would get it into next semester, and she was continuing her practices in NYU. I haven´t been there in a long time, she keeps telling it has grown at a very obscene rate it has raised several eyebrows. I don´t really mind not standing in the way of progress but apparently some actually care about conserving the image of their neighborhood. The same thing goes for SoHo; one day it´s the happening place for visionaries, hippies and dreamers and the next day you wind up with another big shot designer wanting to expand his territory.

Anyway, the girl told me she´s still trying to overcome her childhood fears. I didn´t mean to push any buttons or anything of the sort but just this morning she told me without me even asking,

"Sometimes it´s tough to analyze your own dreams, that´s why I asked for your opinion, sweetie, what are you doing?" she began.

"Isn´t it obvious, I can´t be too long without painting something. But I´ll just prepare this canvas, so tell me."

"I´ve been dreaming about tarantulas lately. I´m not really afraid of them, but in my dreams they´re always stronger than me."

"Ok..." I said as I was wiping the stains of my hands.

"Yes. You see, it starts off like this. I see the tarantula which is usually a small pink toe and they have a black body. However, they jump to my leg and bite me with their tiny claws. They paralyze me and I attempt to remove them but I just can seem to. Sometimes they´re small, other times they´re gigantic."

"Are you actually suggesting that what I think about the literal meaning or of other meanings?"

She shrugged her shoulders as she walked from side, "Well, I don´t know. It´s supposed to stand for my dark side."

A tiny laughter escaped from me, I couldn´t help it, "Wait, your dark side is a tarantula?"

ADRIAN, OF COURSE NOT. THERE HAS TO BE MORE TO IT.

"Don´t suffer too much, girl. I´m aware of it however I don´t think you have split personality. You´re actually a very smart woman."

REALLY, DO YOU THINK SO?

"I KNOW so. So what do you wanna do today?"

Edith felt somewhat startled at my proposal. "Surprise me," she answered.

A SERIOUS CASE OF DÉJÁ VU

"So what do you think of it?" texted my dear friend Droogie who was becoming little by little one of my biggest fans. She WAS already planning to make a video out of her song Easy On The Eyeliner, not ready yet, just a concept.

"You might laugh if I tell you this.." I continued in our private chat online.

"Why? I enjoy everything you say..."

"Look at you, you´re already starting to sound like a fan...should I tell you or not?"

"C´mon, I promise I won´t make fun!"

She sent me a concept storyboard made by some designer that worked for her in a ensemble called Hell´s Closet. They came up with most of the costumes and look for Droogie. She considered like The Factory that Andy Warhol once had...but they´re not there yet.

"It´s great, I love it! I couldn´t say anything bad about it but..."

"Like you´re such an expert! What is it?"

"Alright. Just after our encounter in real life I began to have these very interesting dreams related to rabbits. I was surrounded by these tall beautiful girls and they were all wearing masks. Little by little each one took it off and exclaimed, "I am the Rabbit! I am the Rabbit!"

She stopped typing for a while...

"Are you there?"

"Yes, it´s just that it´s the same idea I sent you...that is SO amazing, do you realize that we actually made a connection?"

"Everybody wants to connect with me, but I can clearly see now that you have been selected by my unconscious to take part in my dreams."

"LOL, that sounds like fun, maybe we will bump into each other sometime..."

"Yeah, not to be rude but are you a natural blonde?"

"Yes, I am."

"There, that explains it! I have seen you before!"

"No way!, so it´s like you predicted that I would come into your life? Are you like one of those psychics like they show online?"


"I could suprsise you if you´d like, I´m full of tricks."

"Great! Say, would you like to join me sometime this week? I´m throwing a pre-Christmas party and I´ll be singing along with Debbie; she´s my cousin."

"I don´t know; I´m not that much a fan, I hardly know your stuff..."

"Then let me send you my stuff...but you have to come, we should SO do things together! Work I mean."

"Right, work..."

"What were you thinking then if not WORK?"

"The same thing you were thinking, I guess that proves our connection..."

"Silly rabbit...tricks are..."

"Are for kids! See, I knew what you were gonna write, I´m right again."

"I have to go now. See you soon, bless you! :) :) :) "

I´m so happy! Droogie invited me to a private party. By the way I was being sarcastic.

AENIMA

Indiscreetly one of Fly's collaborators took a series of sexy pictures of me to use in the art book...Ok, they were planned. Sometimes I can't help it because I always put my work on top of everything else, besides love of course. It reminds of that band, Tool; when I saw how artistic alternative music could become I thought someone out there besides me actually gave a shit.

I had a brief season where I did some modeling about eleven years ago, among my many talents. At the time I was still in college down in Greenwich Village and at lived in Brooklyn and was about eighteen; god, I was so naïve back then. What started as an innocent joke in Body Drawing class turned into a very juicy offer.

You see, Kitty, another schoolmate had arrived about half an hour early to class because she had trouble finishing an assignment. She was so cute, now that I think of it she seemed like a less hotter version of Janie Wu, except she was a bit taller, always dressed the same way in very droopy colors and looked rather scrawny. So then she told me, "Damn, I can´t get it right!" And I looked down at what she was doing and asked, "Uh, what exactly is it that you can´t get right?"

"The arms of course. I know guys have bulky arms but mine looked super deformed; do you know any of this?" said Kitty. I turned around and acted like I didn´t give a damn. "Uh, no, sorry, I´m really not that good either?" And then she begged me to help her because she knew well that I was sketched very fast with no difficulty. "Well...let´s say I COULD help you doll, however it would be a whole lot better if you drew it directly from a model, hey, maybe you COULD use me!"

"Oh, really, you´d do that?" she said as her eyes glowed with excitement. "Oh, but no, that wouldn´t seem right, would it?"

"Whaddaya mean it ain´t right? Look..." So then I slowly stripped and revealed my guns; I liked to work out since then to climb walls and be able to trespass to do some awesome graffiti, never mind.

"Oh, but stand still! I´m almost done...oh damn...would it be too much of a favor and help me out with the legs because they´re out of proportion."

By that moment I felt used but since there was no one around... "You got to be kidding me, girl, I´ll help you draw them..."

"Yeah, but then how am I supposed to learn?" she said a bit frustrated shrugging her arms. She placed her HB drawing pencil on the side of the sketchbook and acted like she was waiting for something. "I´m not gonna bite, this is supposed to be professional, remember?"

I didn´t trust her that much, so instead I attempted to persuade her, "And doesn´t this work for you, just like that?" I pointed at my pants, which were kinda baggy.

"Nope, " she replied. "OK, nevermind, I think I got it now. Thanks Adrian, you´re so cool."

"Mmmk, sure whatever, anything for my public." I knew what she was after; pulling reverse psychology on me, so I gave her what she wanted, but very unexpectedly...she flipped out.

"You idiot! What did you that for? I´ll show you..." She threw her sketchbook at me and as I attempted to dodge it she took my pants. The problem was that the rest of the class arrived and I was practically half naked. A German girl was amused and asked if I was going to be the model for this next lesson because I was standing right in the middle of the platform. So I went with the flow to ease up the embarrassment and transform into exhibitionism and cried, "Yes! Come and get me ladies!" The guys, specially James supported me and said, "Hell yeah, alright!"

The aftermath was rather bitter sweet. Word got out about my little incident and next thing you know I was at the dean´s office. After lecturing me about being a deadbeat troublemaker and such talked in private to me and made an offer that I literally couldn´t refuse. He tapped his fingers against his neatly polished desk and said to me, "So, you like to show off more than the usual, right?"

I leaned back and answered, "Well sir, I can´t deny that; it´s a natural thing; it´s just that some of us are a bit shy."

"Fine, fine. I´ll let you go this time, however..."

Oh damn, I didn´t like the sound of that. So then he proposed to me that I went to Ms. Glenwood because she was requiring some male models for class. Of course, not everyone met the standards, they had to be very very specific. So then I did it, plus I would get extra credit for that.

It wasn´t quite as I thought because I had to behave like a human statue and the posing was very important too. I did for about a whole semester, but when the winter season kicked in I almost quite because I had to go nude, seriously. But then we resolved it peacefully with the proper heating.

But that´s not the end of it. Mrs. Glenwood suggested that I did it professionally, I mean with pay and everything. And that was the best decision that I ever made back then. By the way, that reminded me a self portrait I did at the time named Black Cherry; it was supposed to be a big "Thank You" note for all the support, but in my own obscene way. Ah, memories...

I didn´t exactly dream anything today, however I did wake up at around 2:36 AM as if this is starting to become some sort of ritual to get out of bed for no goddamn reason. I gently tapped Edith on the shoulder and asked her, "Hey, um, did you hear something?"

NO, ADRIAN...WHAT DID YOU HEAR VOICES OR SOMETHING?

"I believe so...I heard a voice, like a child who whispered softly, "Hello"...

JUST THAT?

"Yeah, is that bad?"

"It depends..." she mumbled, "It must be a side effect of those sleeping pills I recommended you, or..."

"What?"

"You were getting in touch with your anima, your unconscious mind."

"Or maybe it was the girl from the factory, remember, like a ghost?" Edith turned and approached me, "Wasn´t that supposed to be me, according to you?"

"I don´t know anymore. It´s more rather like a girl who keeps showing me things."

"Whatever, you wanna go after ghosts, go ahead and catch them...now go back to sleep, it ain´t that hard."

Sleeping wasn´t hard; figuring whether I was alone or not in my oniric experiences, now that was a challenge. Like I said to Mikester the other day, I have the impression someone is eavesdropping in my dreams, and I was pretty sure they weren´t any ghosts...

THE 99 LEVELS OF HELL

Who the Hell dreams about doing things on their computer? That´s the geekiest thing I could possibly think about? I hate having a virtual social life because it heavily injures my passion for creation. However I must address those who worship my exploits or else they´ll think I´m the biggest, most selfish, non-approachable douchebag...well you get the point.

I stopped responding to those little witch bitch stalkers who keep oversympathizing copying most of the things I do; having rabbits being the most common. I didn´t mind however I feared that I was going to slowly turn into some cliché. By the way, I got the message that Ritual was being bought, no exotic girl this time, but yes a modestly eccentric Jewish gentleman, who happened to be a close friend of Feivel. Yay, me.

Getting back to the point I had another dream, if you can call it that way about a girl who was downloading some files in her computer. She labeled them as the 99 Levels of Hell. To my knowledge Dante himself swooped down to find only nine circles, well I guess here accuracy doesn´t count. Did you know you can´t do math in dreams? That happens because technically these silly, fucked up images come from the right side of the brain while the left side is the one that reasons and abstracts information? That´s a damn shame.

Anyway, the girl stored her files into tiny virtual containers which formed a sort of beehive; I must have seen very deep into the future because I´m coming up with a sort of advanced technology. She said she was almost done reading the all the 99 manuscripts, only two or three were missing. Edith, good old Edith said that it might mean a sign of being more introspective. Ironically, she was working on her thesis at the same time and she was explaining me about how a simple manifestation of art if handled in the right way can help connect people with the authors as a means of self improvement and enlightment. It doesn´t necessarily imply that by this we would start a new religion or anything like that but perhaps we may have touched some minds and made some serious changes. What was this again? December 15th; only ten days ´til Christmas, I´m still not into it.

EASY ON THE EYELINER....

Droogie went nuts over her latest acquisition Easy On The Eyeliner that she asked us for permission to turn this into one her songs for her upcoming album. Some of the lyrics she had already worked out,

Everyone looks hot in eyeliner...


She e-mailed me that proposal, so I went, "Sure, why the Hell not?" I was becoming a trend faster than I thought ; I guess. Also , Edie, or Edith was gonna be alright; she was just overcoming some issues from the past. So we figured that it was best to visit my folks back in Elyria for Christmas; she was growing distant from her own family for a while which in real life means a LONG while. I couldn´t blame her; she´s worked so hard all her life and still they don´t appreciate her enough, it´s like she was adopted and her brother wasn´t that great either.

I made her talk to Scraps because that makes me feel sometimes more comfortable rather than talking what she taught me. I might feel like going a little bit mad every now and then, but that´s supposed to be part of my job while on the other hand she was out of control. I´m on the driver´s seat now.

"Did you sleep well yesterday. it's just a thought?" I asked Edith as we went down the stairs for breakfast.

"Sure, if you consider that you held me tight like I was a stuffed toy," she answered somewhat moody.

"Don't be sad; look, if you give me one of those killer smiles of yours I'll forget about the whole thing."

"But you said so yourself; it's your memory too. Besides, I had the feeling I went somewhere else last night," she continued.

"Like an astral projection?"

"NO!"

"I'll tell you where I 'went' if you tell me first...," I was actually referring to my dream.

"I feel like you're actually analyzing me, but anyway..." She went to the living room and squatted in the couch very playfully clutching her cup with exotic red tea. "It was in December. I was running through the forest when I was about six years old. Back then they made me wear my hair short, which I hated by the way and I had a fluffy red sweater with some pretty pink pants. It wasn't very cold back then, that seemed rather odd. I stopped by a small bridge and there I stayed all afternoon until mom found me, by then I was sort of messy."

"But why were you running away? That's what I want to know, if you don't mind."

Edith's voice began to tremble, " Oh Dear God, this was supposed to be so over!" She threw her hands over her face and up to what I noticed she pretended to sound like her mother... I was literally on the edge of my seat.

- Edie? What are you doing down there? Why, you're all dirty and wet!


- I'm sorry, but I don't wanna go back home right now.


- It's, b-because of Uncle Fred...


-What about him? You always loved when your cousins come over like Missy and Brian...don't you like that?


- They say I'm big, ugly liar and that my tongue will fall off if I keep telling lies...


-What lies, sweetie?


- He's a MEAN man, a very, very MEAN man...he made me do things that felt sort of icky...

I'M SO SORRY, I CAN'T CONTINUE, THIS IS TOO MUCH FOR ONE DAY...

So then I approached her and hugged her like the lost, broken child she was, "It's OK, it's OK, but I think you're mad at yourself and not mad at me. Did you know stuff like that can ruin any single relationship you try to build?"

EXCUSE ME, BUT I'M THE ANALYST RIGHT HERE. I WAS EVALUATED PREVIOUSLY YOU KNOW, OTHER WISE I CAN'T PRACTICE.

"Then you just found a way to coexist with it and not telling me?"

I KNOW, I KNOW. BUT IT'S A TOUGH PILL TO SWALLOW. IT HAUNTS FOR YEARS AND YEARS. THAT'S WHY I DECIDED A LONG TIME AGO THAT IF I COULDN'T HELP MYSELF, I'D HELP OTHERS.

"And so far you've been doing real well, girl! Of course, I don't mind you using me as a guinea pig every now and then until I lose my mind..."

ADRIAN, PLEASE! NOW TELL ME WHAT YOU SAW YESTERDAY, WASN'T THAT THE PLAN?

"Oh yeah! I forgot about that." I sat upon the chilling hardwood floor, I didn't care, I was relaxed. So I continued as I joined her with the same tea. It's funny how sometimes red tea makes you feel very uninhibited yet at the same time it doesn't technically count as a drug. So I slowly sipped and continued;

 "I was at the beach, but I don't think it was a summer day because it didn't feel very hot. As I walked I stumbled upon a girl, she was a blonde. She was somewhat tall and had this beautiful baby blue dress, yet it was sort of transparent, like see through.

I could clearly appreciate her bare chest and it looked all bruised and lacerated. I tried to talk to her but she cried and ran off. I decided to follow her and ended up in some kind of old factory. Apprently they made soap."

SOAP?

"Yeah, that's what I said," I took another sip and continued; damn I was relaxed, like I was touching the sky, "So I went inside the factory. It looked rather old, like it was a wooden house."

MAYBE IT'S BECAUSE OF THESE BUILDINGS; THEY'RE VERY ANCIENT, YOU KNOW. THERE IS ONE OVER HERE, ACTUALLY LIKE THAT...

"I don't know, let me finish. So then I sat down with the girl while I watched her work on the soap, almost hand made. She wasn't making it or anything, more like putting the finishing touches or something. I told her if there was something that I could do to make her feel any better but she refused at first."

YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO HELP HER THEN?

"I'm not God; why would I do that? Anyway, she accepted my help and we finished together what she was doing. However, for some reason, I wasn't supposed to be there...

ACCORDING TO WHO?

"To her boss. I didn't see him per se yet I looked up and saw his office. There were some black letters on the windows though; they slowly began to draw themselves; C and K. As soon as I started making them out the windows smashed, as if I wasn't supposed to read them out loud. And that's it."

MAYBE IT'S WASN'T ANY OF YOUR BUSINESS TO BEGIN WITH.

"What makes you thing it wasn't about you?"

OK, WHY I AM A BLONDE GIRL IN YOUR DREAM?

"Because it's your other self, probably. See, now that I think about it I keep seeing you the same way, as if you were Alice."

AS IN THE FICTIONAL ALICE, AND THEN WHO WOULD YOU BE?

"The rabbit, of course! Then it would make perfect sense. I am supposed to guide you to Wonderland, but apparently you don't want to go there..."

DON'T TRY TO PULL THAT ON ME, I AM THE ONE WHO'S THE HEALER LIKE I TOLD YOU BEFORE, REMEMBER?

Edith was becoming more agitated, so I handled the situation with extreme care. "What if I think is that we can both heal each other, YET you lack what I have and the same thing for me. We complement each other, so we work well together, don't you get it? But if you walk away from me things will get very, very difficult."

I'M AFRAID TO JUMP SOMETIMES, YOU KNOW.

"I became aware of that several months ago."

THE TWO FACES OF EDITH (continued):

Edith was growing more and more mysterious with every step I kept taking. Here you have that's she's like a delicate child with glowing eyes and inviting smile, but on the other hand sometimes she acts like she's hiding something, which gives birth to that hideous, disgusting word that somehow manages to ruin relationships like vermin does; SECRETS.

That day when we last looked in the mirror to observe my creation a vision came like a flash; it was a child running, no wait, escaping from something or someone. She was wearing a bright red hoodie...little red running hood? I didn´t think so. I told Edith and she flipped out; she went silent and then slowly walked away.

When we returned home she still felt distant, so I played along and didn´t say a single word. I let her experience the uncomfortable silence, a sort of torture, and then just like that, she snapped.

THAT LITTLE GIRL WAS ME! HOW COULD YOU KNOW THAT IF I NEVER TOLD YOU?

"Eh...that´s rather interesting, but why were you running away?" I answered with caution. She was silent again; she crossed her arms as she plummeted in the couch. "Edith, why were you running away? You´re not denying what I described to you, so?"

THAT´S IN THE PAST, ALRIGHT? I´M JUST AWFULLY SURPRISED YOU SAW THAT! IS THAT SOME NEW TALENT I WASN´T AWARE OF?

"No...it just happened, that´s all, " I continued as I joined her.

I CAN´T BELIEVE YOU SAW SOMETHING SO ACCURATE LIKE A MEMORY THAT BELONGS TO SOMEONE ELSE.

"Well, now it´s MY memory I suppose because I will remember it," I answered quite confident. She gave me a pat on the shoulder; her eyes looked sort of cloudy, "I think, I think this has gone a little bit too far, don´t you think?"

"What are you talking about? I think we just started!" But then she went in another direction as she shrugged her arms, "Goodnight Adrian, goodnight. I don´t wanna continue this conversation anymore, OK? I´m off to bed."

"Now, wait a minute, you leave just like that in the middle of a conversation?"

QUIT IT! IT NEVER HAPPENED...I, I NEED SOMETIME TO EXPLAIN IT, ALRIGHT?

Then it hit me. I had a close encounter with her dark side, what´s next?

(continued)...

THE TWO FACES OF EDITH (continued):

"Just tell me where it hurts the most so that can pick any other part," I said to Fly while he prepared the needles.

"Do you really wanna know?" he replied. "From my experiences, the sides...happy now?"

"Excellent.." I continued giving a sinister smile. "Then let´s place it there..."

"Are you absolutely sure? May I remind you this is your first time..."

"You make it sound so creepy. I´ve been through worse pain, my gigantinormous friend."

Edith was in the back just staring with a smirk on her face while she crossed her arms. "I´m not saying anything, I´m just observing."

"That´s not good, Adrian, she´s not supporting you..." said Fly.

"That´s OK," I said with a more relieved tone. "She does that a lot." The design was laid out with a stencil very carefully so that I had no trouble showing it off every once in a while.

JUST RELAX...

I slowly closed my eyes and rested upon my right side. As soon as I felt the needles kicking in the pain suddenly decided go the other way around and I felt a strange pleasuring sensation, almost orgasmic I believe. Then after a while it felt sore, very sore, like I had been hit with a baseball bat several times...

"Are you doing alright?" asked Fly energetically. "If you want you can rest awhile."

"No..." I answered all sort of dazed and confused. "I´m alright, please continue..."

"Hell yeah..."

For a while I lost complete consciousness. My mind traveled back to the place in Chelsea. Again I saw a cross drawn on a rusty wall for a matter of seconds and at the same time I began to feel a huge sting, yet I refused to open my eyes; my vision continued.

Little by little my body began to appear in that wall instead of the cross. I laid my hand upon my chest as blood was dripping through me like wet paint...this was rather familiar for I´ve had experienced this before, yet, not everything around me was soaked. My left side was intact yet I could notice what seemed like a tiny bruise, so it kept growing and growing like a black hole. It burned and the same time it felt cold like rain water. It was so intense and thought that it would never stop.

Finally, thousands of tiny pins were thrown on my side all at the same time, as if someone deliberately dropped them there. Still the pain began to get more intense, as the pins morphed into needles and they were all biting and piercing and penetrating and...ouch.

"Are we done yet?" I timidly asked Fly.

"Oh yes. Do you wanna take a look at it in the mirror?"

I couldn´t believe it. My design was gorgeous. A stylized black going across my super pale skin. I had become a living canvas indeed. The question that my partner in crime Fly asked me next was, "Would I stop with just one, or would I continue to splatter my work all over myself?" We will see. In the meantime I begged Edith for an approval she whispered, "I´d never thought I´d say this but, why didn´t you do this before? You definitely look even better!" And then she embraced and gave me a sweet kiss on the cheek. We gazed at our reflections and felt like we went over some strange, mystic ritual because she felt truly unfolded. I think I´d reached touched her dark side.



(continued)...

THE TWO FACES OF EDITH

I knew she would be slightly upset for this one; you know how awfully moody girlfriends become as soon as you start changing the slightest of things about your appearance? Yeah, she's one of them but I made her watch me that afternoon lose the virginity of my skin as I planned my next twisted mood; to inmortalize my archetype as a tattoo and what better than to let Fly be the author of this heinous crime.

I took Edith down to Brooklyn; I actually have some fond memories from that neighborhood because how could I forget the famous vandalization of 87th St; a project very similar to the ones I used to do back in Elyria when I was a tween. I thought it would be the same but apparently my work was heavily mocked by some other street artist dubbed Diego and painted over it. It was supposed to be a composition made out of wheat paste, a technique becoming very popular at the time which included a series of tall oval- shaped mirrors with reflections of people I gathered as models.

It was meant to be something memorable, you know to spruce up the place but then that anonymous dude spray painted the cutouts in red. Then again, call it accidental collaboration because he inspired me to make some actual paintings that won the critics' respect. I attract some very stupid vermin sometimes.

By the time we arrived around 4 PM, Fly greeted us with the warmth of an old bartender, like "Hey, welcome back kid! I knew you'd come around sooner or later and get freaking inked!" He continued as he greeted my lover, "and you brought a friend!"

"Girl-friend. She's Edith, the one I told you to stay away from? She's mean..."

OH, C'MON! HE'S JUST SAYING THAT TO SCARE YOU.

The place was always packed. On this occasion they were doing a backpiece of a classic chinese dragon on this big, bulky guy. He looked like he had a huge passion for oriental figurines, so did I but this time it would be something different.

(continued)...

THE LIVING CANVAS

"I should tell you, sweet raven, I had a bizarre afternoon yesterday, even for me."

"Oh..., Edith gave a sustained sigh. "Really?, so what's Ms. Droogie like in person?"

"Ok, I guess. But she felt rather familiar..."

"Well that's because she grew up on the streets of Brooklyn, so I've heard."

"No, but that's not it; it feels like I HAVE met her before, like in a dream or in another life, maybe..."

"Oh, c'mon Adrian! Don't let your imagination get the best of you..."

"No it's not, in fact it's very becoming. Look how hot I'm getting right now I feel like rock n' roll royalty."

"Ok, so when you come to your senses can you please get out of there?"

"No...I'm in the Pool Of Fears...please help ME get out...," I said in a very somber tone.

I was sort of performing a ritual for relaxation in the bathtub. A kaleidoscope of visions came to me, and no, I still didn't do any heavy drugs. I was under the impression that I was doing astral projection because I may have bumped into Droogie's universe. Whenever I plunge into my tub the inspiration through me and enables each and everyone of my senses...it's funny how this time it was my sixth sense talking.

I saw being at a party in SoHo; big deal, I never get out of here, but yes it was sort of private. I'm not sure how continue with this part but I felt turning into a dog, a blue dog to be exact and made it successfully through the velvet rope, oh yes! The again Edith told me that it meant something about deep intuition.

WAS IT LIKE A HOUND DOG?

"Nah, it was more like one of those stubby weiner dogs, you know. He was shiny blue, like cerulean...mmm, which reminds me of the Blue Period.

OR IT COULD BE A PUN FOR THE BLUES, YOU KNOW, LIKE HOLIDAY BLUES? BUT AT SOME POINT THAT'S CONSIDERED NORMAL.

"But that's not all..." I said as I layed my head on my left hand with an eerie tone. "You see, I was also sick, like very sick, so much that I couldn't get out of bed at all..."

AGAIN, LIKE IN NOVEMBER?

"Mmm, yeah, pretty much. I was so goddam stubborn that I refused to take my medications so my mother came in and inserted a large pistol in my mouth..."

THAT'S PECULIAR...

"That's used for drenching. You never saw that when you were young?"

I, I SUPPOSE NOT.

"They use it on farms, to help animals when they're too weak, you know like cows, or sheep...I may paint that, so don't laugh!"

THAT'S VERY AMUSING, BUT WHY DO YOU SEE YOURSELF AS AN ANIMAL NOW?

"Because it's my animal nature, woman! I love to be nosy like a dog, but then again I'm fragile and helpless sometimes."

AND WHAT ABOUT THE RABBIT?

"What about the rabbit?! Oh, that reminds me..." I said as I went a bit deeper into the now semi icy water..."There is one another thing you could give me as a present..." Edith looked at me as though I was inducing her to do nasty things. "I'm planning on having my skin punctured and painted permanently..."

"What?," she shook her head and then she said, "I get it. Well, I guess it was bound to come sooner or later, the question why didn't you do it when you were younger?"

"Cuz the girls digged my virginal skin and so did you..."

"Then I suppose you might as well become a living canvas..." She pawed me with her delicate pale hands.

"So you're not mad? Can I, can I?" I said in a childish manner.

"As long as it's something truly amazing like the things you draw."

"Like a naked woman?"

OF COURSE NOT, BUT HOW DID YOU COME UP WITH THAT IDEA, DID IT JUST POP INTO YOUR HEAD?

"No, of course not! It attracts me, and I think I know exactly what I want...but you must come with me, so that you make sure I'm taken care of."

FINE, I WOULDN''T MISS THIS FOR THE WORLD...

"Great! I know just the place..."

SO WHEN DO YOU WANT TO DO THIS?

"This afternoon..."

SO YOU'RE FREE...

"Well, not exactly. I had to go with my buddy Fly to keep on working on the art book, but he does these this kinda things; he showed his studio and everything. He's so badass..." As I stepped out and contemplated the steamy oval mirror on the wall I said to myself, "What a lucky bastard. But this is gonna her more than it hurt me..."

I AM THE ARCHETYPE

This recent event made think of a lot of things...I need something permanent in my life, something everlasting; I already have an archetype such as the rabbit, but I need to become the major archetype...a symbol...a tattoo...maybe I´ll pay a visit to Fly.

AFTER THE RABBIT (continued):

"Darling!", cried the young Droogie as she gave me a sort of rehearsed Italian kiss, you know, both cheeks. Her embrace even felt sort of familiar, as if we had met before...nah.

"I had to come here live, you know because I´m currently planning my decor of my new place over that new SoHo complex and I thought, "this is perfect!" A close friend of a friend of a friend shared some pics when they were at the show that Friday...You look amazing as well, amazing..."

The girl just kept talking and talking, and talking as I stared like the idiot I was, not.

"So, um, what brings you to SoHo, almighty goddess?" I asked.

"Well, simply everyone who´s anyone is picking out this handsome little big neighborhood, don´t you agree?" She said as she kept playing with a lock of her blonde hair.

"Absolutely...I keep telling this guy right here that I refuse to leave unless he puts me beside beautiful people like yourself."

Feivel was furious, but he answered politely like the gentleman he was, not.

"Oh, sure...not, don´t believe that guy, he´s crazy. Actually he´s a sort of verbal terrorist."

"That I can tell. Anyway, this is my personal assistant and almost sister, Sophie..."

Now girl Sophie was hot, I was so thrilled meeting the most popular girls in school. Nothing like Lisa...She greeted me as well, sort of shy.

"So can you tell us a little bit about the concept of your paintings, Adrian?" asked Sophie with a sort of snobby tone.

"Em, well, you see..." I said as I spread my arms attempting to be more impressive. "I play close attention to my dreams, very close attention. So one fine day this furry little dude shows up and I decided to paint it because it was sort of stuck in my head ever since I can remember. Edith, my girlfriend and partner in crime says it´s an archetype..."

"That´s rather interesting...what´s an archetype?" asked Droogie faking interest.

"It´s a psychological term, you know, like a symbol of something else..."

"And that is?" she continued.

"Whatever you like...and that´s the beauty of it. There´s something I should warn about though..."

"What? They´re too big, too expensive, very delicate? Because that won´t be a problem, " answered Droogie a little bit startled putting her hand on her awesome chest.

"Nah, forget it...it´s just a urban legend."

"Alright, bad boy, keep it too yourself. I love mysteries."

"Anyway, it´s been a genuine pleasure meeting your Mr. Black. We must be going now, right dear?" said Sophie.

"Absolutely. Hey, um, I´ll be sure to highly recommend to the guys upstairs. I´ll still be doing a handful of shows this year, busy season you know! But if you´re certainly not too busy by the next year I´ll ask you do some work for me, wouldn´t that be great?"

"That´s amazing, girl!" I said. "But go easy on me..."

"Isn´t he adorable?"

I was thinking exactly the same thing about her, but was she flirting with me? Whatever. But Feivel was more than excited for we were playing with the big leagues now...Success at last.

AFTER THE RABBIT (continued)...

"How's everything doing, Mausman?

"Uh, couldn't be better! Just you wait and see. It's they're practically all lined up to buy this stuff," said Feivel posing like a bodyguard.

"This 'stuff'?" I answered with a bit of surprise. "Is that what you call my art now, just stuff?"

"Hey, don't look at me kid! We have buyers we've never seen before."

"Yeah, I also noticed there were like around sixty or seventy people who've bought prints just this week. I got  dozens and dozens of requests up until February," I said. "Yep, what a wonderful way to end this year; multiplication through rabbits."

"Makes perfect sense to me..." said Feivel.

(continued)...

AFTER THE RABBIT...

It was a drafty December morn. I woke up at 8 AM and I was under the covers sipping coffee like the mild stimulant addict that I am as I watched with awe a rerun of all time favorite movie Watership Down.

"All the world will be your enemy, Prince with a Thousand Enemies. And whenever they catch you, they will kill you. But first, they must catch you, digger, listener, runner. Prince with a swift warning. Be cunning, and full of tricks, and your people will never be destroyed."

Edith looked rather surprised for my childish behavior, come to think of it she already was concerned for my other unusual behaviors.

"Are you alright, Adrian?,"she said as she sat down with me on the hardwood floor. I hated these typical rehearased questions, just tell how many people in this world have the guts to say, "NO, I'm not alright!" because you always have to answer the contrary in order to keep everyone happy, especially someone so perky as my girl. So I said, "Yeeees..." but she grew more concerned as she shrugged her shoulders.

THAT'S NOT NICE! ARE YOU BEING SARCASTIC AGAIN?

"Um, no. I'm pretty lucid right now, Edith. I got a date with destiny." I was referring to my close encounter with Droogie. Man, she was only 23 and had acheived worldwide success, practically everyone talked about her.

UH, YES, YOU TOLD ME ALREADY. BUT TRY TO REMAIN CALM...

"Hey, uh, are you feeling jealous? Because that I could definitely detect..."

WHY WOULD I BE JEALOUS? I'M SHARING YOU WITH THE REST OF THE WORLD LIKE YOU ALWAYS TOLD ME TO.

"Don't get mad at me but I had the most curious dream yesterday..."

REALLY? I'D LOVE TO HEAR THAT, BUT CAN YOU PLEASE GET UP SO WE CAN DISCUSS THAT IN THE KITCHEN.

"Ok, whatever you say..."

So then as we had a spiritually infused breakfast I narrated my oneiric exoerience. "Yeah, so imagine; I laid down and all of a sudden all these beautiful girls paraded before me, but all they all had rabbit masks on them."

LIKE BUNNY GIRLS?

"I wish! But no; they just wore very handsomely crafted masks, like something post modern. Anyway, they all strarted to reveal their faces and one of them exclaimed, "I'm the rabbit, Adrian; I'm the one you've been looking for!" But then the girl next to her said exactly the same thing and so did the rest. So in the end they all threw themselves upon me..."

AND?

"...and that's it!"

MMM, I HAVE A FEELING THERE'S SOMETHING YOU'RE NOT TELLING ME, BUT I'LL LET YOU KEEP YOUR FANTASIES ANYWAY...

I kinda smiled stupidly, "Yes, I'm excited, very excited..."

Around the afternoon, let's 4 o' clock I arrived at the M. Gallery with impecable punctuality along with Feivel. He looked very excited as well. You see, because of the horribly busy schedule these artists have they don't have the time for these trivialities and send their assistants, but I was amazed to hear that Droogie would be there personally.

I enjoyed what she had on; she had a faux fur that went all the way down to her waistline, high heel leather stiletto boots, wide sunshades and laced stockings. She also liked to wear different wigs with shrilling tones instead of dying her hair. Droogie was pretty scrawny but it made sense because a voluptous blonde would have looked incredibly ridiculous.

(continued)...

PINS AND NEEDLES

Was it weird that my head suddenly felt like they we're sticking pins and needles into it? I'm afraid so. This anxiety was starting to get pretty darn painful, yet that didn't stop me; I knew I had to find a healthier way out of this.

Tomorrow would be an exciting day as I would meet the eccentric owner of my beloved children, so wish me luck; I love you vermin...

WE'RE ALL RABBITS HERE

"Here , here," announced the March Hare pursing his snout and knocking a tablespoon against a very fine teacup. He got up from the table and continued, "I propose that today we all become rabbits!"

Alice was indeed confused this time for she actually came looking for that swift, uncanny cottontail since she was hungry for answers. And slowly one by one all of the guests in the party revealed their faces and looked all the same. They all vigorously shouted, "I AM THE RABBIT!"

"NO, NO, NO, NO!" cried Alice as she hit the dinner table. "Would you please all make up your minds and tell me who are you..."

But the Dormouse whispered to the blonde little girl, "I am the rabbit, dear."

And the she answered, "That's nonsense. Everyone knows you are tiny mouse, why, rabbits don't have long tails!"

"Exactly! I am the rabbit."

The ever so whimsical Mad Hatter had the word, "Why, I am the Rabbit of course dear! Can't you see my big dumb floppy ears?"

Alice was beginning to grow annoyed, "Pardon me sir, but I can hardly see your ears because they're covered by your enormous fancy hat."

"And that's exactly the point! My ears are so giganti-normous that won't let me see where I'm going thus I have to hide them."

"Oh, then would you kindly remove your hat?"

"WHAT?!!! THAT'S RATHER RUDE, DON'T YOU AGREE?"

"...very, very rude indeed," answered the Dormouse with a very weary voice.

"IMPOSTORS! You fools, I AM the rabbit," shouted the March Hare.

"Sir..." interrupted Alice.

"YEESSS?"

"You may look like a rabbit, but you're not him. You see he's white and stubby, he wears glasses and carries a pocket watch.
"
"A what, you say?" replied The March Hare.

"I said WATCH!" answered Alice as she got up from the table.

"WATCH! Now see here, watch YOUR temper little girl..." said the Hare furiously.

"But I only asked a simple question..."

"And that is?" now asked the Mad Hatter.

"Who is the White Rabbit?"

"We are the rabbit, of course!!!" they all said unanimously.

"This is the stupidest tea party ever; why I'd rather talk to a wall and it would understand much better!"

And that was my dream last night. I mean, how deranged can you possibly get now that you start seeing the one thing everybody else thinks is the craziest tale like Alice In Wonderland.

"Edith!" I shouted.

WHAT, SWEETIE?

"Is it normal for someone to have visions all the time?" I asked. I toiled away in my studio...did I even ever bother to describe the place? Oh yes, I did but back then I was sort of tidying up. Anyway; I could clearly see a fine white layer gathering around the edges of my windows. Yes, it was snowing alright. And your humble narrator was all curled up trying to keep my rabbit warm under my coat.

NOT REALLY, BUT LIKE I SAID YOU'RE DEFINITELY DEVELOPING ANXIETY, LIKE, IS SOMETHING BOTHERING YOU?

"Sure, this! and many other things."

NO, BUT I MEAN LIKE OVERSTRESSING YOURSELF.

"Mmmm, yeah, probably, so that means?"

DREAMS ARE A WAY THAT THE BODY DEALS WITH PAINFUL SITUATIONS WE FACE EVERYDAY SO THAT THEY WON'T AFFECT US GREATLY.

"I know that, but then there are different kinds of dreams like visions; those are the ones that I'm afraid of.

WOULD IT HELP IF WE TALK ABOUT OTHER THINGS SO THAT YOU CAN BE MORE CALM? LIKE, FOR EXAMPLE, DECEMBER?

Ok, I could clearly sense that she was fed up of this subject and it makes sense. But I haven't grown tired of it, I could go all night.

RABBIT SEASON

"I have a feeling somebody´s watching me Mikester," I sat down and started chatting with my old friend on my laptop. "Well, but don´t act like you´re all fucked up man, why do you ask that?"

"I don´t know how to explain it. It´s like saying, "I inspired somebody to do create something and that OK. But what´s really freaking me out is that somehow they have managed to think exactly the same way I do."

"Like when there´s a coincidence, you mean?" wrote Mikester with silly worried smileys.

"Well, yes. I keep reading these comments in my page of people who say they think the same way I do. Call it sympathize or ass-kissing but even sometimes they describe events similar to my everyday life and they put them before mine happen."

"Jeez, calm down. Is it real?" typed Mikester.

"I´m afraid so. There´s a thing called a psychic link. Now, I´m too much into the supernatural but it haunts me. They say I could, at some point share that link because I´m a sort of empathetic person. Anyway, your show kicked ass."

"Oh yeah, so did yours! So is it true that Droogie wants your paintings?"

"Yes. I have a strong curiosity to see her in person..."

"Doesn´t everybody, they all wonder what outrageous getup she´s gonna wear next..."

"Mikester..."

"What is it?"

"Ever since I started including rabbits in my work things have started to get pretty goddamn weird. Even my girlfriend says I´m not suffering from an anxiety attack."

"Well, suppose there is a strong theory that it causes some side effect on people. But then let´s say not all people experience the same thing. It´s like the time when they blamed it on videogame violence. They still couldn´t prove anything and what did they do? Rating system, that´s what."

"But the problem is you can´t rate art..." I said.

"True. Angry parents could just call it obscene. But then if you place it on a museum it´s culture! You can get away with it. Therefore, I would find it incredibly hard that your rabbit paintings could harm anybody. Still, keep an eye on things, my friend; you never know what fucked up creep might try something..."

"Gotcha. Gotta go, heaven´s waiting..."

"OK!!! Have fun with the misses..."

Oh, I was having fun alright. It´s rabbit season...sorry Santa, move over.

BLANK MIND

Augh, after I settled my social affairs today I came back with the most awful headache I could never imagine. Edith also told me I´ve been carrying a lot of anxiety lately and that you exaggerate every little thing. That reminded me of the episodes Alice used to have when she changed size. And so because my perception of things was way over the top I had to calm down in order to understand what was really going on.

YOU HAVE TO STOP WAKING UP IN THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT, DEAR.

"I´m not so sure about that since it´s against my will, " I answered politely. We were in the middle of the living room attempting to relax. She handed me over some wine which worked pretty well to warm me up.

OF COURSE, NOT. YOU CAN DO IT, YOU´RE JUST MAKING A BIG SCANDAL OVER NOTHING.

And so she made me notice; I mean, why was I waking up at 3 AM anyway? I was accustomed to sleep at least 7 to 8 hours. Now I sleep every two hours; could it be that I was becoming more hyperactive like my rabbit?

They also explained to me that in order to bring down the headache I needed to think about nothing, a blank mind, unreal because I´m supposed to be creative all the time, how was that gonna happen? Oh well.

SUCCESS

A mysterious presence from the unknown emerged...

HEY, SWEET THING, WE´RE HAVE YOU BEEN? ALWAYS HIDING OUT FROM THE SPOTLIGHT, WHAT ARE YOU BECOMING A VAMPIRE?

"Um, no, but I have been hanging out with some witches lately...say, how are things going in the art world, is it a good business?" I said sarcastically to Feivel while I was hanging out in my studio.

LISTEN, YOU ARE SO NOT GONNA BELIEVE THIS...DO YOU KNOW THAT GIRL DROOGIE?

"Uh, yeah, isn´t it that singer chick who goes out wearing her entire closet?" I replied.

YES, WELL HER ASSISTANT CALLED IN AND IS WILLING TO GET RABBIT MONSTER AND EASY ON THE EYELINER, SHE WAS SWEPT AWAY BY THEM...

"How much?" I said insistingly.

"20 grand for the first and 25 grand for the second one..." he answered.

"Alright! These rock stars are sure crazy ´bout art, aren´t they?"

WELL, YOU SEE IT´S A MATTER OF TRENDS. LET´S SAY WE FOUND A MARKET FULL OF CRAZY COLLECTORS AND I THINK IT´S A SWELL IDEA TO STAY THERE.

"Can I meet her? I´m her biggest fan..." I said in a sort of fake, childish tone.

NO, NO, BE SERIOUS. LISTEN, IF WE KEEP UP THIS TREND THEY WILL BE CHOOSING YOU FOR MORE COMMISSIONS AND THAT´S EVEN BETTER.

"Why?" I said.

I THINK YOU FOUND THE SECRET FORMULA, OR RECIPE OR SOMETHING; SHE FELL IN LOVE WITH THE RABBITS.

"Who doesn´t, my mousy friend?"

I JUST CAME TO DROP THE NEWS; I´LL GIVE YOU THE DETAILS LATER. KEEP UP THE GOOD WORK.

Somehow I felt that the attention coming from the mainstream pop industry sounded more like selling out, but hey that girl Droogie, who happened to grow up in the humble streets of Brooklyn had now chosen my art to enhance the beauty of her new pad in the nicest part of SoHo. Maybe I´ll drop by soon and check her out...

In other news, a good friend of mine Mikester was having an exhibition over at a gallery in Chelsea. I couldn´t say no; he was a sort of partner in crime in art school. Nobody thought that he could be successful because he was considered like a sort of geek, but then he hit the spot by turning the geek parafernalia into something trendy and chic and there you go. We found the g spot of people´s psyches and they seemed to be enjoying it very much. This was gonna be a very memorable day...

DREAMING OUT LOUD

That was a rather esoteric weekend I'll have to say. Unfortunately what goes up must come down and give way to Monday. I must have experimented some side effect from having seen those pics of Lisa but mind you, she's not the original Lisa. the reason why I couldn't stop thinking about what was for her taste for danger. It's one of those rare situations in life when you stumble upon something and with just one look you're clanged to it like a little disgusting leech, as if it were specifically designed to aim at your darkest side and not miss. I'll have to say I'm achieving the same effect with my paintings, this girl Lindsay keeps posting her nightmares, visions and who knows what other hallucinations. I don't care; we're all mad here anyway.

Still, last night seemed like a very down to earth, in your face dream. I was exactly in the same place I was yesterday in the kitchen while Edith was fixing breakfast. And so I kissed her cheek and started discussing an innocent little encounter with Lisa Stewart. And then she froze. "Tell me you did not say that!" And then I came to my senses saying, "sorry, my bad; it was only a dream, honey, it'll never happen again." But then I walked away returning to my activities and thought to myself, "The truth is this wasn't any dream, it was real."

So then now I woke up with anxiety, more or less about 3:15 AM. The wind was blowing pretty loud and I could notice that even there was a slight blackout, for about less than a minute. I also noticed how startled Scraps was; now that the winter season started to kick we keep him closer to us. Now that I think of it I experienced this before, except that Edith wasn't here. It still felt the same way because she was out cold hogging the covers as if she was going to fall from bed.

It took another hour to go back to sleep...I walked and walked dragging my feet...remorse? Why the Hell would I feel this way if I've never even officially met this new Lisa, or is it just that unconsciously I can't get over her?

But don't get me wrong; it's not like I killed her and chopped her into teeny tiny pieces and threw the remains in the river, it's just that we never broke up to begin with. I left Elyria without even telling her; I mean, why would I do that, she meant absolutely nothing to me. On the other hand she did scar me because she hit me where it hurt the most and I'm not exactly talking about breaking my heart. No, she did something worse than that. What kind of vicious, insensitive whore poisons your cat? Jealousy, of course! That's an even worse bitch.

WICKED

I'm not an idiot although some people may have that opinion about me. After having spent an interesting afternoon with my festive newfound friend Fly and his fetish loving ex-girlfriend´s pics to my surprise Edith had a rather strange suggestion.

WICKED, YOU KNOW THAT MUSICAL, HAVE YOU EVER SEEN IT?

"Heard of it but not really, never liked musicals..."

YEAH, BUT I THINK YOU HAVEN´T GOT SCARED ENOUGH; YOU NEED SOME PASSION INJECTED IN YOUR VEINS.

"Aha! Now I´m not passionate enough, " I said amazed at Edith´s little speech. I liked what she had on, kinda of a laced black tank top, and no, she didn´t feel cold at all.

YOU WON´T FEEL SORRY, I PROMISE. HERE´S TO A MAGICAL EVENING YOU WON´T FORGET.

"Do I really ignite the dark side of you, girl?" I said as I crossed my arms. We were standing in our puny, cozy kitchen.

"You always do. Besides, this is the best way to avoid all that holiday blues since you prefer to stay inside most of the time," she answered as she hogged a tiny bowl of cheese.

"Really? I think you got your holiday´s crossed for some weird reason."

NO I DON´T. IT´S JUST THAT I LIKE TO BE ORIGINAL EVERY NOW AND THEN, CAN´T YOU TELL?

"I think you´re starting to sicken from my extravagance and you know there´s only one way to solve this..."

OH, NO, NOT AGAIN.

"Yes..." I added cynically. Next I went to one of my private sanctuaries; the wine cellar. She wasn´t very fond of drinking heavy stuff so I treated her to some exotic absinthe, because you know what they say, "absinthe makes the heart grow fonder." I only used in case of emergency, you know, for when there´s a huge need for inspiration. One sip and the world is yours.

OK...NOW IF FEEL IN THE MOOD.

"You should know that this has about roughly about 60% alcohol, but I´ve had stronger shit."

IT´S LOVELY, STILL, WHAT´S IN IT?

"It´s mostly composed of aromatic flowers, chamomile and licorice, I prefer when the licorice kicks in."

ARE YOU TRYING TO KNOCK ME OUT?

I laughed so relaxed, "No...I´m doing some of my own magic..."

OK, LET´S GO BEFORE I GO INSANE...

So she convinced me in the end to make this a sinister night surrounded by singing witches, let them sing me to sleep so that I may have some very wicked dreams...